1. “I would never buy a fixer-upper”

Even a year ago I would have said that. Small disclaimer: our house definitely did not fall 100% into the category of “renovation house” (only the ground floor!). But I am no longer convinced that a house should be ready to move in. Partly due to the many home programs and enviable renovations on TV, I have come to realize that with a good contractor you can really make a gem of any house. I still wouldn’t dare to take on a complete wreck with structural defects. But I have come to agree with real estate agents that there is something in the statement “Then you can at least put your own stamp on it”.

We paid a lot less for our house than for a move-in ready house in the same neighborhood and now we have our dream pink kitchen, floral toilet and other things. In a move-in ready house I would not have torn out a still good kitchen so quickly; in our house the 35 year old kitchen had to go. So in that respect it feels like a gift that we could go completely crazy with the interior.

2. “Bread is the best ”

Nothing against bread, mind you. I happily eat two slices of bread with peanut butter every day. But there was a period in which I ate six or seven slices of bread a day. I had it for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Five years ago, I couldn’t imagine ever swapping my bread breakfast for something non-bready. But it really happened. It all started with my cottage cheese period. Those large cottage cheese bowls later made way for vegan breakfasts. And when I discovered oatmeal, I was completely converted. I once thought that those bone-dry, tasteless flakes couldn’t possibly change into a breakfast that I voluntarily eat. Nothing could be further from the truth. Oatmeal is the best , I would almost say now.

3. “I always want a lot of blue in my house.”

My great love for pastel pink has never let me down in the 30 years that I have been walking around on this earth. And I suspect that the love for that color will last my whole life. Funny enough, my love for bright blue has cooled down a bit. Well, I still think blue is cool. But more for others than for myself. Where I once chose an azure blue couch with full conviction ( which now looks great at my parents’ house !), I now walk right past that color. These days I am more into warm tones. Pastel colors. Beige. Or warm dark colors. I prefer soft fabrics, beautiful linen curtains , teddy cushions in light colors and especially as much pink velvet as possible (and if Bart allows it). That warm stamp is quite imprinted on our current house and I love it .

By the way, there is still a significant amount of blue in my wardrobe. So the love for blue is still there. Just not in the living room anymore. Of all the interior styles, I recognize myself most in the modern living style with a touch of Scandinavian and a bit of romance. Bart would call it mostly “pink”, I guess. But there is certainly not much blue.

4. “I must always tailor my choices to the opinions of others”

Five years ago, I still found it quite difficult when people had an opinion about my choices. I dared to throw bright colours into my interior. But then I hoped that everyone would find it beautiful and fun. If I saw people looking askance at my outfit, I would wear something else the next day. And when people had an opinion about a blog article, I would quickly be behind the keyboard to immediately qualify my article.

Now, five years later, opinions still have an effect on me. But there are a few topics on which I can let go of other people’s opinions quite well. If someone else doesn’t like our house, it doesn’t affect me much. Everyone has their own taste. If someone I know would say that my dress is very yellow or flowery or pink, I can honestly shrug my shoulders. And when it comes to very substantive matters, I can actually appreciate having a substantive conversation about it these days. For example, I like interesting language discussions. And if someone has an opinion about psychological themes, I actually enjoy exchanging thoughts about it.

5. “For work I have to put on my businessman look”

I remember someone ( who happened to be the owner of a clothing store for business people ) advising me as a newly started entrepreneur that I could dress more maturely. More black. A black  pant once. A suit perhaps. And since I was new to the business world, I believed him on his blue eyes that this was how it was supposed to be when you become an entrepreneur. So two days later I paid $300 ( I had never spent that much money on clothes! ) at his store for a boring blazer and a black pant ( that didn’t even fit well ). Now I was really an entrepreneur, I thought.

I designed my site in a similar way. Mainly dark blue with white and here and there – how daring – a touch of red. In my communication I liked to be neat. And as soon as I entered into business relationships, I put on my extra business, chic hat.

In recent years, I dared to let go of that Texas career men idea step by step. I am now also just who I am as a person in my copywriting company. Personal, informal, empathetic. And if I have a team day with a client, I will happily go there in a pink jacket if that is my outfit of the day. Since I have become more “me” as an entrepreneur, I have only started to attract more nice clients with whom I feel a good connection.

6. “The past is the past. It is gone.”

I now make no secret of the fact that my puberty – years ago now – was not the easiest. Insecurity, extreme perfectionism and a cocktail of too little food and excessive exercise did not make my teenage years easy. “Oh yes, but that is over. I have become stronger because of it!”, I shouted for a long time. And yes, that is true. But I have come to realize that a bad period always has two sides. There is a positive side: growing as a person, getting to know yourself better, taking on challenges, becoming stronger. And there is also the side of mourning for what was not there and for what could have been.

It’s only in the last few years that I’ve really started to reflect on what my life was like back then. Not in a really sad way, mind you. But just trying to figure out why things happened the way they did. Not because I feel sorry for myself. But because I’ve come to realize that allowing emotions helps you process things.

I am now thinking about doing something with my past. For example, I think it would be great to educate young people about eating disorders in secondary schools.

7. “I’m really not spiritual”

No, it’s not like I’ve manifested our current house together, draw tarot cards every day and burn incense sticks to give it all that extra touch. Although I don’t find anything wrong with any of those things. But five years ago I was still shouting as loudly as I could that I was very down to earth and had nothing to do with anything that leaned towards airy-fairy. In the meantime I wouldn’t call myself very spiritual, but I would call myself very open-minded. As in: I’m open to many things, don’t quickly find something “crazy” and believe that I can get out of it what I can get out of it. So I don’t hesitate to try anything. Sometimes I drop out after that. Sometimes it brings me more than I thought (such as breathing coaching, acupuncture and certain books).

8. “Action is my paradise”

I remember once applying for a job at a company above an Action store. Just because of that location, it seemed like the perfect place to work. I could shop for cheap stuff every day. My love for Action has cooled down a bit since then. Okay, not completely. I still don’t buy pantyhose anywhere else but at Action ( the Action ones are the most resistant to holes of all the pantyhose I know ). And my Action sticker stock is also quite large. But otherwise I go there a lot less than I did years ago. I’d rather buy one thing for $20 that I think about carefully than 10 things for $2 that I’ll take to the thrift store a year later. I only make an exception for the pantyhose, stickers and cleaning cloths.

9. “Reality TV is so enjoyable to watch”

When Married at First Sight and 90 Days Fiance  are on, I’m the first one to sit down in front of the TV. But many programs that I called “nice to watch” five years ago, I can’t watch for more than one episode now. There was a time when I watched everything I could get my hands on: First Dates, Temptation Island, and in the distant past even Big Brother. Now I only dare to watch them when there’s nothing else to watch during the silly season, but even then I often give up after one episode.

I’m going crazy from the exaggerated voice-over, can’t stand the staged drama or get an allergic reaction from the things that are purely shown on screen so that all of Twitter can go crazy about it. Although I do find the reactions on Twitter entertaining to read about Married at First Sight. So I’m not completely unguilty either.

10. “I would never spend $200 on a Shirt”

I did. But that was a really beautiful shirt. I buy very little clothing. And almost everything I buy is second-hand. Often bought for relatively little money and therefore sustainable. Every now and then, when I am really madly in love with an item, I treat myself to it. And yes, for that one time a year a dress can cost $200 as far as I am concerned. The cheap vintage finds keep it in balance. Moreover, I have come to think about clothing the same way as I do about the Action bargains. I don’t really need a full wardrobe. I prefer a modest row of items that I really like. And when I have an enormous urge to buy clothes, I go crazy at the thrift store.

11. “You can get better at anything if you just practice hard enough”

I have always been a go-getter, sometimes even a bit too much. For example, in high school I was very bad at physics. But I wanted so badly not to get a single grade below a 7 on my report that I crammed and repeated and summarized until I got a tight 7 with great pain and effort. If I was not good at something, I saw it as a sign that I had to try (even) harder .

I now look at it differently. Yes, in some things it is important to work hard and not give up too quickly. But there are also things that I am and remain mediocre in, and that is fine.

For example, we will soon have to assemble a PAX wardrobe and I know that with these types of construction kits my underdeveloped spatial insight gets in my way. Instead of trying until I succeed, I just indicate in advance that I can clean and indicate large shelves. I can do that. And where I used to get stuck and try to park in that one tight spot, I now immediately think “Parking is not my best skill. I’ll just park a street further.” Call it giving up. I mainly call it making it a little easier for myself.

12. “If you say ‘no’ you have to have a really good reason for it”

I certainly cannot recommend that belief. I went through life with that approach for quite a long time. Everything that came out of my mouth was “Yes!”, “Yes, sure”, “Uhm, well, okay…” or in extreme cases “No! Or well, eh, okay, I’ll do it anyway”. For a yes-man, I do say ‘No’ quite often these days. I still don’t like saying the three-letter word, but I have come to realize that without ‘No’ you have a rather busy, full and impossible life. So I say ‘no’ more often to appointment requests, assignments, networking drinks, telephone offers, etc. Even if I don’t feel like I have a completely watertight excuse that is impossible to argue with. Sometimes no is just no. Even if your reason is ‘I’m tired and don’t have much energy tonight’.

What have you started thinking about differently than you did 5 years ago?