A quick glance at your agenda says it all. Your week is jam-packed and with a weekend full of household chores ahead of you, you wouldn’t know where to fit in those few yoga exercises or the next chapter of your book. And so your time for yourself shifts again to next week. It’s happened to me a lot, but it’s been going a lot better lately. Because I’m sure I’m not the only one with the busy-agenda pitfall, I’ve collected 10 tips for more time for yourself.
You do have control over your time
I know the problem very well. It seems like your schedule determines what you do in a week. But in reality, you are still in control of what you do with your time.
If someone else makes a request that doesn’t fit into your schedule and busy head at all, you can say something about it instead of grumbling and trying to force it in. You can decide that the projects you’ve taken on yourself shouldn’t be finished today but next week. There may not seem to be any time for yourself, but you can consciously free it up. For me, that awareness is already step 1. Because everything that has found its way into my agenda, I put there myself. The fun things and the “musts”.
Why make more time for yourself?
No one will have time for fun things. Housework, work, raising children, grocery shopping and all sorts of other obligations always continue. So no, there will not suddenly be a moment when you think “I’m bored to death! What should I do?”. You can choose to escape the rat race of “musts” and give yourself that moment.
This has several advantages:
- If you do things that recharge you, you can also tackle the “must dos” with fresh energy and pleasure.
- You will have more peace of mind and can therefore better deal with the long meeting, your frustrating colleague or other everyday irritations.
- You have more control over your agenda.
- It gives you time to do things that fit your horizon.
Unfortunately, no one else can make time for yourself but you. That is an advantage in itself, because you decide completely for yourself what you do with that time and when you plan it. But it also has a disadvantage: you have to do it “just”. These 10 tips will help you with that “just” doing.
1. Move your bedtime forward
My main tactic for getting more me-time is to go to bed earlier. Not only does it save you from tired eyes the next day, it also gives you an extra moment to do something nice for yourself . As long as I’m in the living room, there are always things that need to be done. From squeaking dishwashers to plants that need watering. In the bedroom, I don’t have that distraction, so I do take time for myself. In my case, that’s in the form of a nice evening ritual, reading a book and sometimes writing something.
2. Notifications off!
I’m sure I’m not the only one for whom the infamous smartphone is an unwelcome time-waster. I know myself by now: if I “quickly” want to look something up on Instagram, before I know it I’ve already ended up in funny pictures and beautiful interior photos.
I also make time for nice things by leaving social media alone at certain times . I have agreed with myself to only scroll through the photos in my Insta feed once (or let’s face it: twice) in the morning and evening. In addition, I have turned off all my notifications for Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. I only look at them at certain times. That saves about half an hour a day!
In another article I share my best tips to reduce your phone usage . Adjusting a few technical settings can really do wonders. Did you know, for example, that you can set it so that you can only access an app like Instagram or Pinterest between certain times? And that you can mute that one group app that is a bit too fanatical?
One tip already: use social media only on your laptop to limit time on your smartphone (and to use social media more efficiently). I especially recommend Instagram on the computer, Web WhatsApp and the app Later.
3. Make it easier for yourself
If I look at my agenda honestly, not everything in it is really a “must”. You often “must” less than you think. If you look critically, you often have some leeway in the things you do. Not everything really has to be done and some things can definitely be a little less perfect.
A few examples from my own life:
- Have you proposed to deliver an assignment today, but it is still a bit tight? Be honest and ask if tomorrow is okay.
- Do you really need to vacuum your entire house today? Or is it okay if that little bit of dust stays until tomorrow?
- If you call your girlfriend to ask how she is doing, you can also indicate that you want to keep it short.
- Having guests over for dinner doesn’t necessarily mean you have to serve something spectacular. A simple stir fry will do just fine.
- If a call runs late, you can safely say that you have a maximum finish time.
- Do you really have to go to the store to pick out a nice birthday card? Or can you just go to Greetz.nl?
- Replace a real appointment with a phone appointment or a meeting in Teams or Zoom. Saves travel time!
You see: you often have much more leeway in the things you “have to” do, if you are only willing to be gentler with yourself.
4. Start the day with a Miracle Morning
I haven’t read the book Miracle Morning yet (it’s on my reading list, which I’ve finally started!), but one tip has stuck with me from the reviews I’ve read:
Do something every morning that makes you happy.
Get up on time and take the time to do that one thing faithfully every morning. Even if it’s just for fifteen minutes. That could mean reading X number of pages every day, watching an episode of a fun series, writing a chapter, taking a walk or doing some yoga exercises. The advantage of starting that fun activity right away is that it won’t get pushed further down your to-do list because of all the other tasks during the day.
And do you hate sitting on a yoga mat at six in the morning? No need! I’m sharing some tips to create a Miracle Morning routine your way . And you can do it without getting out of bed at the crack of dawn! Start by simply getting up a little earlier. 15 minutes? Half an hour? Should be doable, right?!
5. Set an alarm
No, not to get up on time. I mean an alarm clock to remind yourself of what you want to make time for . Sometimes you need a subtle reminder to not forget that one nice thing in between your daily worries. The alarm clock function on your phone is quite handy for that. Think of a time that suits you and set your alarm clock as a reminder for that time. Agree with yourself to really stop doing other things at that time.
6. Make it small
It may sound like a huge thing to free up time for fun things. Especially if your schedule is already bursting at the seams with obligations. But how much is a quarter of an hour out of 24 hours? When I look at myself, I often spend a quarter of an hour scrolling through Pinterest without even realizing it. So it shouldn’t be a problem to invest that same amount of time in something that really makes you happy? You really don’t have to sit on the couch with a book for hours right away. Start small and make it so concrete and achievable that you can get started on it today.
7. Realize: gaps in your schedule don’t just appear
Since I became an entrepreneur, I realize much more that being busy is a matter of making choices. Meeting deadlines like a headless chicken is a choice. Just like it is a choice to say that it is not possible, to set yourself free and not to say ‘yes’ to everything.
Free time doesn’t just appear. For example, if I have an appointment with a friend and that appointment doesn’t go through, then technically I have 4 hours of my time left. But when push comes to shove, those 4 hours will still be filled with extra household chores or other “musts”. Suddenly I’m cleaning out my pantry. So there will never be a gap in your schedule, unless you put that gap there in a prominent place . Free up time and plan that gap yourself.
8. Schedule a downtime
Speaking of gaps in your agenda, it is always advisable to schedule them as standard. That is something that sometimes goes wrong for me. I plan a reasonable workload for my day, but then suddenly two phone calls come in between. Phew, then everything shifts immediately.
A tip I got recently: plan an extra hour every day for unforeseen things. Then you won’t get into trouble if a caller is not so fast on the line or if the neighbor stays a bit too long for a front-door chat.
9. Provide a stick behind the door
A tip that works very well for me personally is to create an extra incentive to make more time for myself. That can be something as simple as telling a friend or you (as blog readers) about a fun project that I want to take on. Simply because saying that already gives extra motivation . If you don’t keep your goals to yourself, the chance that you will let them go is smaller.
Taking out a subscription can also help. For example, I recently took out a subscription for online meditations. I know that meditation will always be neglected if I leave it out of my schedule. But because I took out that subscription and pay for it, I have to participate twice a week and have set times for that. Works like a charm!
10. Accept that you will miss things
Making choices also means that you consciously do not choose some things . If you rename Sunday evening your relaxation time, you might not join your friends’ movie night for that reason or you might see your Instagram followers drop a bit. Just as you will undoubtedly have to let fun projects go if you want to work one day less.
The advantage of this is that you consciously choose for yourself. The disadvantage is that you may disappoint others or suffer from Fear of Missing Out yourself. Accept that this is the case and stick to your moment plans (unless the other plans are nice enough to let your alone time go to waste of course). Only then can you prevent your carefully planned agenda holes from filling themselves up after all.
