Stuck in your work? 9 tips for when you’re not happy with your job

You spend more hours working than you think. So getting stuck in your work often has a big impact on your mood. If you don’t enjoy your job, you may come home frustrated on a regular basis. Your work drains all your energy, you are annoyed by colleagues or you don’t feel challenged enough when you close the office door behind you at the end of the day. It is frustrating to say the least. But how do you get out of that impasse of grueling workdays? And what should you do if you know exactly what you are NOT happy about, but have no idea what the dream job is? Based on my own struggle-with-work experiences, I share 9 tips that helped me to end up in the right place.

Why get stuck in your work?

Getting stuck in your work often has everything to do with an employer, a job, a team or a work atmosphere not being a good fit (anymore). This can have all sorts of reasons.

You miss the challenge in your work. You have been doing what you do for a while now and it feels like you can learn little new here.
You don’t feel comfortable within the team. You miss the match with your colleagues or even have the idea that you can’t really be yourself.
You don’t feel appreciated and you have the idea that you are mainly being criticized, even though you are trying so hard.
You lack meaning in your work. You wonder why you do what you do and perhaps have the idea that you do not really contribute anything with your work.
The demands placed on you are too high. For example, you have to bear all kinds of responsibilities that you do not want to bear at all or you have to work overtime all the time.
You have been working where you work for a while and are eager for the next step. But you do not know exactly what that next step is or find it exciting to take it.
Your qualities are not expressed in your work. The things that you are really good at or that you simply enjoy, you cannot really express at work.
You don’t really know what you want anyway. You would prefer to do something completely different. But at the same time, a career change feels terrifying or you might not even know what you would like to do.
You are way too busy . As much as you love your job, it is too much right now and you are feeling a little overwhelmed.

If you thrive on structure and planning, it makes sense that you don’t thrive in a chaotic start-up. And if you enjoy deep conversations at the coffee machine, it’s no wonder that you get stuck when your colleagues prefer to eat a sandwich in silence at their desk. All possible reasons why you’re stuck in your job!

About that time I got stuck in my work

It also cost me a few internships, 2 salaried jobs, a career coaching trajectory and a lot of struggle to land in the right place in terms of work. I have now been working part-time as a freelance copywriter for almost 5 years. My most challenging job ever and without a doubt the most fun! But that was preceded by a long road of doubt, worry, frustration and a lot of searching.

To begin with, during my studies I didn’t know which direction I wanted to go. Doing PhD research, that seemed like something I’d like to do. But after my thesis I knew one thing for sure: I never wanted to do these kinds of large research projects again. I much preferred to do “something with writing or communication”. But then what? It took me mutiple (!) application letters before I could sign an employment contract.

In my first job I learned a lot, but after 1.5 years I was ready for a new challenge. I went to work in a completely different field, but there I ran into the problem that there was far too little work for the time I had. And although having time to spare may sound like a dream, it certainly wasn’t. I was rather under-stimulated , on the verge of a bore-out.

In addition to my salaried work, I was always registered with the Texas Business Association. Purely to occasionally network and do some writing jobs “on the side”. But I kept getting more assignments and I thrived on them. When I ended up with a career coach, I suddenly realized that there was a huge contrast between the happy, enterprising Romy and the version of me between the gray office walls. After many small steps, I dared to take the plunge months later. I became a intentional freelance copywriter: the job where everything came together.

What can you do if you get stuck in your work?

What I discovered most of all? The fact that it feels like you are stuck with a workplace or employer does not mean that you are. You are always allowed to choose for yourself. And okay, changing your work situation is often not a piece of cake . It is easier to stay where you are than to shake things up. Just having the conversation with your manager can feel exciting. But the option is there and those steps are necessary to wriggle out of the not so nice situation you are in now.

How do you solve that stuck in your work? These are 9 tips that I myself applied during that period.

1. Recognize that you are stuck in your work

It all starts with recognizing that your work situation is not what you would like it to be at the moment. Maybe you have been aware for a long time that you come home from work feeling frustrated and listless. But it could also be that you have been feeling lethargic for a while and do not know why. It helps if you realize that your work plays a role in how you feel now.

That is not nice to see, but it is necessary to move forward. If you realize how much it bothers you and how much impact it has on you, it will probably stimulate extra motivation to take further steps.

How do you recognize that your work is no longer giving you much pleasure? These are a few signals that you might notice in yourself:

dreading a new working week already at the weekend
often coming home tired from work
to be easily irritated
a feeling of dissatisfaction after a day’s work
having trouble getting your work done
concentration problems
talk a lot negatively about your work
a lot of stress around work (for example, being tense when someone calls you)
any physical complaints (such as digestive problems, headaches or muscle tension)

2. Get clear on what exactly you are not happy about in your work

Sometimes your workplace is a total mismatch. But often it is the case that you run into specific things. For example, maybe you have great colleagues, a good salary and a package of tasks that suits you, but you are going crazy because of the stress that your work gives you. Or maybe you like the work itself, but you miss the connection with your colleagues. Or maybe it frustrates you that you always have to train new people, which means that you hardly have time for your own work.

If you know exactly where the problem lies for you, you are already a big step further. Consider for yourself what you are up against at work. For example, is it in your job description, in your colleagues, in your salary, in the challenge, in your manager or in the responsibilities that you do or do not get?

Once you know what is bothering you, consider whether it is possible to change it. For example, if you structurally have too much work on your plate, it might be worth talking to your boss about it. But if you want to work for a social employer and are currently in the banking world, a good conversation with your manager will not solve that. That is also good to know.

3. Realize that there are always ways out

I myself have been stuck in a not so nice work situation for almost a year. I did realize that I was not in the right place. But I couldn’t just cancel my contract? What would they think if I left within 2 years? What would happen if I was not there and if they might not find a new employee? And did I give it a chance long enough? In fact, I pushed myself for far too long before I decided to quit my job. It was the most difficult conversation I had ever had. But what a relief I felt afterwards! So there was a way out after all.

And I want to pass this on to others: realize that you are not trapped where you are working now. Look at it practically: your contract undoubtedly does not state that you have to stay here until you retire. Even though it may feel like leaving is not an option, you do have the opportunity to do so.

Tip : just browsing through vacancies can help you experience positive energy again. Then you focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t. For example, take a look at the part-time vacancies of Indeed. If you think ‘ I’m looking for work ‘ and are serious about it, it can also pay off to turn on the notifications. That way you never miss a nice vacancy.

Even if you have been working at the same workplace for 15 years, you may decide one day to do something else. Even if you want to make a career change but have no experience in your new field, there are options (such as taking a course alongside your job). And are you going crazy because of the overtime mentality at the office? Maybe you will notice in a good conversation with your manager that you really do not have to go along with that.

Try to think in opportunities instead of problems. Of course, a new path is much more exciting than continuing on the same path. But there is a path. There are opportunities. If you just look for them.

4. Take a concrete step (even if it’s tiny)

When you get stuck, there is one thing you need to do: get moving again. That means taking steps. And while that may sound big and exciting, it doesn’t have to be. Every big change starts with a single small step.

I didn’t quit my job overnight either. No, for me it started with following a career coaching trajectory. After that I started working one day less at the office and slowly started taking on more freelance assignments. It took a year before I felt confident enough to take the step to entrepreneurship. At that moment it felt manageable, precisely because I had split that big leap into many small steps.

See what step you could take. Keep it small, so that you can take the step today without any effort. Think of steps like:

Write down what you are currently facing in your work and plan a meeting with your manager to discuss it.
Find someone who does the work you would like to do. Ask them if you can meet up soon to talk about it.
Register today for a course that can help you with the things you are stuck on. Think of a time management course, an assertiveness training, a DISC training ( this has helped me a lot in terms of communication skills! ) or a trajectory in which you get to know your core qualities better.
Find a career coach and send them a message to schedule an initial appointment soon.
Scour job boards and look for a vacancy that appeals to you. You don’t have to respond to it right away. But looking at what’s out there can sometimes give you new energy.

5. First see if there are alternatives to “I’m leaving”

Sometimes there is no other option than to look for a new job. But that is not always the only option. Often that step feels incredibly big and tough. Then it is nice to see if there are alternatives. Sometimes a good conversation with your manager can help, for example. Or maybe there is another position internally that appeals to you or you can talk yourself into a nice new project.

Here are some alternatives that might help you experience more happiness at work :

Discuss with your manager that you are missing a challenge or are running into something. Suggest additional responsibilities or projects that you would like to work on.
Do you miss meaning in your work? See if you can find it in things outside of your work . Think of volunteer work or a nice hobby ( my tip: start your own blog! ).
Find a course that fits what you are currently struggling with or what you want to grow in. Make time for that.
See if you can adjust your attitude at work . Just because there is a hard-work culture doesn’t mean you have to go along with it. See what happens when you follow your own path from now on. Maybe not that much happens at all and that turns out to be perfectly okay.
Say no more often to take a load of work stress off your plate. Sometimes that alone is enough to enjoy your work again and not get overwhelmed.
Start a side project , so a small business that you invest time in next to your work. That’s how I started freelancing: in the beginning I had an assignment for maybe 4 hours a week. But that gave me nice variation and extra challenge next to my office job.

And yes, you may still come to the conclusion that you really should apply for another job. That’s okay too. But at least you’ve done what you can to look for other options.

6. Spend time on things that do give you energy

A job that is not quite right for you takes up a lot of energy. I recognize that all too well when I worked in a job that did not suit me. If I did not pay attention, I would first complain for at least fifteen minutes when I got home. But what do you gain from that? You can complain every day, but that does not change the situation.

It helped me tremendously to accept that this job was not my dream job. At the same time, I did not want to just hand in my resignation, so there was no other option than to stick around here for a while. I did look for things that gave me energy after a day at work. If you do not recharge during an office day, then you should in your time after work.

I started with fun hobbies and put a lot of time into my blog with love. But you can also think of extra sports ( boxing works well to get rid of frustration! ), taking a relaxing walk, fun creative hobbies or reading interesting books. Think of something that even after a long day at work rekindles your enthusiasm fire.

For me, baking is always an ideal distraction when I’ve had a less pleasant or just a stressful day.

7. Hire a (career) coach

If you are in danger of getting stuck in your work, I can absolutely recommend a career coach. I was also skeptical about that at first and initially felt like a rudderless, unguided projectile when I sat down in her chair. But the conversations with a career coach helped me enormously to actually take action. She was my stick behind the door to actively start working on the search for what I did want. That also ensured that I was less stuck in my “I’m not happy” mood and started looking at the enormous range of other options again.

By the way, a career coach can do much more for you than you might think. For example, a career coach can give you insight into your most important qualities. A coach can also look at your application letter, vacancies or even – as in my case – your business plan. Thanks to her, I felt supported during that rather rudderless period. It can also be very helpful if you agree on deadlines with such a coach, such as “I have sent that e-mail before our next session” or “I have responded to 2 vacancies before we speak to each other again”. If you often postpone exciting things yourself, such a coach can give you the right push in the back.

8. Know your core qualities

The most valuable thing career coaching has given me is insight into my own qualities. Ideally, you can use at least a few of your qualities in your work. My career coach also called this ‘core qualities’ and explained it nicely:

There are things you are good at and that you enjoy doing. You want to do these as much as possible in your work.
There are things you are good at, but don’t really like. You can pick them up, but preferably not too often.
There are things you are not good at, but you do enjoy. These are great learning points that an employer can ideally support you in.
There are things you are not good at and that you do not like. These are the things that you would rather not see in your work at all.

Can you name something about yourself for each of those 4 points? How does your current job relate to this? What other qualities would you like to see in a job? And if you look at it this way, do you have an idea what type of function, tasks or organization would suit you?

For example: I am good at planning and creating structure, but that is not necessarily my favorite activity. When I had a very quiet job (too quiet), I was mainly given a lot of planning tasks. I was good with Excel and creating structure, right? But before I knew it, 40% of my working time was taken up by that, while I had no ambition at all to do something in the direction of structuring. I also discovered that I do enjoy analyzing and being creative. When I knew that, I could search for new positions much more specifically.

9. Make a plan and go for it

If you really want to change something, you will have to do things differently than you did them. That requires taking steps. Not just that first, cautious step, but many steps after that. It can help enormously if you make a plan for the coming months ( sorry, here comes my structured side again! ). What steps do you want to take in your search for more enjoyable work? What conversations do you have to have? What emails do you have to send? What courses do you want to follow? Or what other steps do you want to take?

It can also help to come up with a plan A and a plan B. Plan A assumes that you will continue to work where you are now, but that something needs to change within your workplace. Plan B is the alternative option if things don’t work out in your current job. Think about what you would want then (a different job, your own company, etc.).

Preferably also link deadlines to it. Not to bully yourself, but to force yourself to take action. When will you take step 1? When will the second step follow? And how will it continue? This way you will gradually move forward, away from the deadlock situation and onto a new, more enjoyable path.