1. Wear more black clothes. People will take you more seriously.
I still think this is the most absurd piece of career advice I’ve ever been given. When I got the advice in my early twenties, I was proud that after years of being a gray mouse, I dared to embrace my colorful side. And since I didn’t wear crop tops or lilac Crocs to work, I didn’t really see my colorful wardrobe as a problem. But this person thought my pink blouses and yellow blazers made me look younger and was afraid that people would take me less seriously because of them. If she could give me one (unsolicited) tip, it would be to wear black and dark blue more often.
I remember stammering something like “Oh yes, I could wear a dark blazer more often!” in amazement. But in reality I was speechless and didn’t feel like trading my frivolous dresses and bright blouses for black and grey. Well, I just love colour. And I am a firm believer that it is good to bring a bit of your personality to work, too. Colour suits me, so I wear colour. And as long as I don’t dress in unprofessional, tiny skirts, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Nowadays, I have – perhaps unconsciously inspired by that one comment – made bright colours my trademark . Not only my (work) outfits, but also my website breathes pastel colours. I regularly receive compliments about it or people say something nice about my pink-looking workroom when I appear in a video call. So I believe that it works for you if you dare to be yourself at work, also in terms of clothing.
Please don’t dress or act like a grey mouse at work if you’re not like that in real life. Unless you happen to have a job where black and grey is the mandatory dress code of course.
2. You have to work hard. You still have to prove yourself, right?!
In my first adult job I had a need to prove myself from here to Tokyo. Someone once told me that after your studies you are still a newbie and first have to prove yourself. Moreover, I graduated at a time when jobs were not easy to come by. So yes, after 80 application letters and many rejections (if I even got a response to my letter) I was already happy that I had a job. Now I had to make it, I thought. Now I had to show that I was worthy of that job.
So I worked my butt off. I had 1 day off every 2 weeks, but I often worked on that day off, without anyone asking me to. I always answered phone calls, even when I was standing in the thrift store among the vintage dresses on a day off. Did something urgent need to be done? I was ready. And when there was too much on my plate, I refused to go to my manager. No way, I had to be able to do all this. At least, that’s what my young perfectionist self thought.
I was lucky that I had a very good manager at the time who protected me from doing more than was necessary, which prevented me from completely going overboard. But I still feel a strong allergy to the person who once gave me this advice. That idea of ”I still have to prove myself” has been with me for years. Only in the last few years has that unnecessary need to prove myself made way for more calm. I would never tell anyone “You have to work hard”, but would rather say:
Do your best, of course, but don’t overdo it. You’re already doing well enough if you sometimes say ‘no’, really block your days off and don’t answer every phone call. Are you overflowing? Report it, always!
3. You need to be more businesslike. There’s no need for that “How are you?” question.
I once worked in a workplace where my colleagues were quite businesslike. Now, I certainly don’t consider myself the most social animal ever, but I can appreciate a chat every now and then in an open-plan office. These don’t have to be psychologist-like bartering conversations. Even if it’s just that you occasionally exchange a weekend story. So I often started my emails to direct colleagues with “Did you have a good weekend?” or “How are you?” before I made a request. The people I emailed would then happily respond. That way, I still got my social needs met.
But that didn’t go down well. My manager at the time advised me to be less personal. He specifically said that I didn’t have to use that opening sentence in emails. It was unnecessary filler and too personal. I was still young at the time and immediately started to doubt. Was it so strange that I did this? Was it too much ? It wasn’t until a few years later, when I had long since moved somewhere else, that I realized that this really wasn’t my workplace. We didn’t match. And this advice was once again the proof of that.
I am still glad I didn’t follow that advice. Everyone has a different way of working. I think it is important that I also match the people I work with on a personal level, and I am also personally interested. For some clients, I know the name of their pet, their favorite holiday destination and their favorite weekend activity (and they know mine). For me, that definitely makes my work a lot more fun.
4. Entrepreneurship is way too risky. Don’t do it now!
When I got the idea to start a business at 25, I was often advised against it. Fortunately, not by the people around me. They saw how much I wanted this and cheered me on to take this step, even before I believed I could do it. But I noticed that many others were critical:
- “You can never buy a house with your own business!” (That’s a good thing! Our house is proof of that ;))
- “You are way too young to be an entrepreneur. Just wait a few years!”
- “But if you start a business, you are never certain about your income. How are you going to do that?”
- “But I don’t see you calling customers to hawk orders. You find that far too exciting, don’t you?”
- “Aren’t you too quiet/introverted/shy/insecure for that?”
It took me a long time before I actually dared to quit my salaried job to go full-time for my business. That wasn’t because I didn’t have enough work, but because this critical advice expressed exactly my own doubts. I also thought that entrepreneurship was extremely risky. And I had a stereotypical entrepreneur in my head: a 45-year-old man in a fancy shirt with slick sales skills, a super social and extrovert character and an agenda full of networking events. I didn’t recognize myself in that picture.
Only later did I realize that there are many more types of entrepreneurs. And that I can also do business with my introverted nature, younger age and insecurities. Only then in my own way.
5. You have to pick a niche. Otherwise you won’t make it.
This is the standard advice I got from one business coach after another: “Yes, Romy, you can’t like everything. You have to choose a niche, you know!”. People advised me to only write about finances, to become the copywriter for coaches or to focus on just one type of text. I also got that tip countless times for my blog: you can’t write about personal development and interior design and recipes.
And while I understand the advice, it is not my advice. I have always liked 1001 things. I love my job because I get to dive into completely different topics every day. And I continue to like blogging because I do not write about the exact same themes over and over again, but feel free to type about what is going on in my life at that moment.
When I hired a straight-talking business coach last year, he gave me a groundbreaking piece of advice: “Maybe you don’t have to choose a niche at all. Just look at each request to see if it suits you!” You understand: I followed that advice with great pleasure. I am now very happy with my all-over-the-place interests and wonderfully diverse assignments.
6. Whatever happens, the customer is always king.
In principle this is good advice. Service and being friendly are important. But I have noticed that you should not take this advice too literally, because then you forget yourself somewhere along the way. This advice made me not dare to say ‘no’ for a while, worked on urgent orders until midnight, did not increase my rates, changed my schedule without hesitation if someone asked me to and answered every phone call without question, even if I was standing in the supermarket at the refrigerated section with bags of spinach. Fortunately I have since changed my mind 😉
Only in recent years have I come to realize that the customer is king, but not at my expense. My father-in-law put it very nicely:
As your own boss you have 2 functions. You are the only employee and you are the director who watches over this employee. And as a director you have the important task to always make sure that your employee (that is you) feels good.
I am still someone who likes to be there for nice customers and help people. But I no longer sacrifice everything for that. It is also important to keep an eye on your own agenda and energy tank. You do not have to answer every phone call. You do not have to cram every emergency into your agenda without thinking. You do not have to accept deadlines that are too tight. And you are also allowed to say ‘no’ if an assignment does not suit you.
It works just like rescue operations in an airplane. You have to help yourself before you can help others. As an entrepreneur or employee, you can only be 100% ready for customers if you are in good energy yourself. So make sure of that, even if that sometimes means disappointing people .
7. You’re too young for [fill in the blank].
I think this is a stupid statement anyway. Because why would there be a minimum age for certain career steps? I was sometimes told that I was too young to be an entrepreneur. And in my first jobs I was sometimes asked if I wasn’t the intern there and I regularly heard the words “Yes, but you’re still so young!” when I brought something up. I only partly blame it on the baby face that I apparently can’t get rid of.
Sometimes I really got annoyed that we believe that you are too young or too old for things at a certain age. Whether you are 25, 46 or 65, it is much more about what you have to offer than about how much work experience you have or how long it will be until you retire? Okay, if you become a director of a large bank, it is useful to have a few years of experience on your CV. But I believe that you can also take the step to entrepreneurship at the age of 22 or 65, for example.
8. It is unprofessional to talk about private things at work.
They often say that you should keep work and private life separate. And yes, sometimes that is a good idea. When I still worked in an office, I didn’t gossip about my failed Tinder dates in great detail either. However, I think it’s not so bad to tell your colleagues, manager or clients about private things sometimes. Even if something isn’t going well, it’s sometimes nice to talk about it.
Sometimes you experience things that have a big impact. A loved one dies, you sleep badly due to circumstances, you have a lot on your mind due to a move, you are worried about a child, or you are going through a medical procedure that takes a lot of energy. Most employers (and clients too!) are happy to think along if you indicate that something is going on. And otherwise, by telling it, you at least don’t feel like you have to act a cheerful poker face.
My experience is that it is actually good to inform people with whom you have business contact when something intense is going on in your life. When Bart’s mother passed away four years ago, for example, I also let a few clients know. I had a lot on my mind and did not know in advance how that period would go. In any case, I was less flexible than usual for a while. I personally found it very nice to tell honestly what was going on. That is precisely why clients were understanding, I could take a break and I felt the space to let them know what did/did not work.
9. Always have plans for 1, 2 or 5 years from now.
During job interviews I always hated the question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. Man, I have no idea where I will be in 365 days. Let alone in a period 5x as long. For a long time I was obsessed with annual goals and grand development plans. But I have let go of that now. Yes, I like to continue to develop myself and start new projects. But I have no idea yet what kind of project that will be in a year. So much can change. Perhaps unexpected opportunities will come along. It could also be that you suddenly run into something in your work and want to turn that into a development point. Or perhaps you are faced with a busy period and you would rather recharge in your few free hours than also take a course.
Yes, I also always have plans, projects and ideas. But I prefer to tackle those things as soon as they come my way or as soon as I run into something, rather than always having a long-term plan on the shelf.
And I found these to be the best career tips
Fortunately, in contrast to those few pieces of advice that I didn’t pay attention to, there are also a lot of valuable career tips that I did find very useful. For example, these:
- Create a compliment folder on your PC , so that you remember positive reactions longer and can always refer to them when you doubt yourself. Save all the nice, complimentary words you have ever received in that folder.
- Practice an elevator pitch so you’re not left speechless when someone asks you who you are and what you do.
- Call yourself [type of profession ], even if you don’t have the confidence that you can do it yet. It all starts with daring to call yourself a writer, entrepreneur, photographer, marketer, etc.
- Fake it till you make it. When you do something for the first time, don’t get too caught up in the “Oh no, this is my first time!” mindset. Just go for it. The more you do it, the better you’ll probably get at it.
- Look at people you admire. Don’t compare yourself negatively to others (“Why does she do this so naturally, while I still can’t do it after a year?”), but instead let yourself be inspired by people who are further along. What can you learn from the other?
- Start before you’re ready. You don’t always have to have a perfectly laid out plan before you start something. And you don’t have to be the best at something to be able to do it. Just start. Then you will automatically get better at it.
- Are you starting something new? Try the pitbull strategy . In other words: grab every opportunity like a pitbull, tell everyone about what you do or want to do, and don’t let go until you’ve taken a step closer to your goal.
- With every ‘no’ you also say ‘yes’ to something else. Business coaches taught me to say ‘no’ more often as an entrepreneur. I found that incredibly difficult, because the pleaser in me prefers to help everyone. But – as I learned – every ‘no’ also earns you a ‘yes’. A ‘yes’ to space for more fun tasks, to more time for other assignments, to a better work-life balance, etc. Consider what saying ‘no’ earns you instead of what it costs you.
- Just be yourself, even at work. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. If you like to spend your weekends quietly, that’s fine. You can skip the Friday afternoon drinks if it’s not your thing. The working world needs both introverts and extroverts. Emotional people are just as valuable as rational people. And we crave both calm professionals and bouncing enthusiasts. So just be yourself. You are – even at work – good the way you are. And if people have something to say about that, you might want to think twice about whether this is the workplace for you.
What was the best and/or worst work advice you ever received?
